Archive for July, 2007

I’ll be forever, I’ll be tomorrow, I am anything when I’m high.” Does that include always thinking you’re right and the person you’re talking to on the phone is an imbecile?

My customers always seem like they think that way.

My response is “I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers.” I’m a dirty Rock Star. You heard me, mentally, I know I’m a dirty rock star. Your daughters are my groupies.

Who feels like getting crunk tonight?

Tsali Wasituna

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Do not repeatedly tell me that I’m a “fucking idiot” and “a piece of shit nigger.” You do not know me, you do not know how long I’ve been doing this job, you don’t know how long I’ve actually been using computers. You have no idea what race I am. Why don’t you go back to your own country you fucking white trash whore. What? You don’t have a country? Well.. Get that mixed blood shit outta my face and go to Germany where they’ll hate you cause you’re not pure enough for them, just like you hate spics niggers injuns kykes jews, etc.. They’ll hate you for not being white enough. You need to die in a fire you pice of shit bitch. I’m better at this job better than you are at sucking cock. Matter of fact, I bet if I ever started sucking cock, I’d even be better than you at it. Your husband would leave you for me I bet I’d be that much better than you, and I’ve never even tried it.

If you want a signal sent to your modem, how about I come down there, with my 22 and send a signal right up it’s candy ass? What’s that? You live on a road called “Poverty Road” Maybe that should give you a hint about your mental capacity as well.

For the first time ever, in my many years working here, I was beyond pissed! I actually logged out, and had to take a walk to calm down. First time in over 10 years I’ve had to take a walk to calm down matter of fact. Congratulations you white trash woman, you infuriated a once noble and peaceful being. Now I could care less about anyone I speak with. I am going to upgrade every single customer I speak with now, and tell them I can’t help them unless they agree to an upgrade.

I love listening to violent music now while talking with customers on my cellphone.

Listening to: Avenged Sevenfold – Beast and the Harlot

Not really violent persay that song is, but it fucking rocks! Plus, it’s one of the best songs on Guitar Hero II. Go ninja go ninja go!

Tsali Wasituna

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When I ask you for your home phone number, and you tell me “We use our cellphones,” listen to what you just said. If you only use your cellphone, then that is in fact your home phone.

Better yet, listen to how stupid you sounded when you said that. I think that line itself stopped being funny after 1997. The James is killed by your sad sad joke.

Fuck Yeah! Go Dark Knight go Dark Knight, it’s your birthday wootahg! I was a little worried about Heath Ledger at first as The Joker, but after seeing some screen shots and audio samples, and the above video I feel much better about this choice.

Please, oh please please please, can you short people not use the taller urinal? Do you know how difficult it is for a man of my height to bend down and straddle a short urinal to ensure one doesn’t piss all over himself or the floor? If the flushing mechanism is the same height as your chin, you’re too short to use it. If your balls are touching the bottom of it, you’re too short for it.

Friend of mine has been running her own site for a little while now, (NSFW) UndressJess.com, you all should go join and show her support! NOW! I DEMANDS IT!

Tsali Wasituna

Comments (1)

Does the fact I said that the email address was still accessible not mean anything? If I give a password, saying customer wants to move the address to this account and we have permission, please do a little more investigating. Also, please know what programs we’re using, if I ask you if you did an XXXXXXXX query, do not say that you used XXXXXX. That’s like a big fucking “DUH!” being tattooed across your idiot forehead.

Doing an XXXXXXXX query is using a part of XXXXXX to find out if an email address exists in our system or if it’s been completely wiped out of the system yet. If you don’t even know what an XXXXXXXX query is, then go back to being a newb on the floor you piece of shit dumbass.

Previous chat session is closed. Click here to initiate a new session.

STATUS: Chat Session Is Closed.

(SYSTEM): Do you have a question for XXXXXXXX? Email him at XXX@XXXX.XXX – we’ll pay $5 in XXXXXXX Chips if we print YOUR question!(unless you are a lead)

(jwashington): [11:11:19 AM] Problem/Issue: Chad CI, verified account with Kyle, trying to change password on email address XXXXXX@XXXXXXX.XXX and also for the webspace XXXXXX , these do not show on customers account. Customer states they were created on an old account they had 6 years ago, the email is still accessible with their password while the webspace is not. The email address is XXXX@XXXXXX.XXX password: XXXXX

XXXX XXXXXX
XXX XXXXXX XXX
Lincolnton NC 28092

(SYSTEM): [11:11:19 AM] jwashington (172.21.236.129) has joined this chat session…

(SYSTEM): [11:11:31 AM] Lead has joined this chat session…

(jwashington): [11:11:36 AM] Good morning.

(XXXXXXX): [11:11:37 AM] hello

(XXXXXXX): [11:12:26 AM] wooo

(XXXXXXX): [11:12:41 AM] I can help you with this issue, please give me one moment topull up the acct and we can get started

(jwashington): [11:12:41 AM] indeed indeed

(jwashington): [11:12:45 AM] coo coo thanks, np

(XXXXXXX): [11:14:20 AM] So you talked with kyle

(jwashington): [11:15:12 AM] yes

(jwashington): [11:15:28 AM] kyle says it’s okay to put them on the account so they can have access to them again

(XXXXXXX): [11:15:38 AM] I did a search of the email address and it said does not exist

(XXXXXXX): [11:16:17 AM] but does not matter, if kyle wants you to add email address and web space have him do it in Member services

(jwashington): [11:16:24 AM] did you openwave query it?

(XXXXXXX): [11:16:27 AM] walk him to that and he can do it

(jbryant): [11:16:41 AM] I used aurora

(jwashington): [11:16:50 AM] mail=XXXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX,o=mig_flat,dc=XXXXXXX,dc=net adminpolicydn : cn=complete,cn=site,cn=admin root cn : XXXXXX@XXXXXXX.XXX mail : XXXXXX@XXXXXXX.XXX mailautoreplyhost : mssf01 mailboxid : XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX mailboxstatus : A mailfamilymailbox : 0 mailimapproxyhost : XXXXXXX_XXX_imap_proxy maillogin : XXXXXX@XXXXXXX.XXX mailmessagestore : mssf01 mailparentalcontrol : 0 mailpasswordtype : C mailpopproxyhost : XXXXXXX_XXX_pop_proxy_m mailsmtprelayhost : XXX.XXX.X.XXX mailwebmailusesignature : 0 objectclass : top objectclass : person objectclass : inetorgperson objectclass : mailUser objectclass : mailUserPrefs objectclass : adminUserPrefs objectclass : msgUser objectclass : msgUserPrefs objectclass : organizationalperson sn : XXXXXX@XXXXXXX.XXX

(jwashington): [11:17:23 AM] these have been orphaned.

(XXXXXXX): [11:20:29 AM] done, their back

(jwashington): [11:20:33 AM] Okay cool thanks, that’s all I needed on this call, have a good day.

(XXXXXXX): [11:20:35 AM] Is there anything else I can do for you?

(jbryant): [11:20:40 AM] Have a great day

(SYSTEM): [11:20:49 AM] Lead has left chat session…

Also, customer, FYI…. Not that long ago is a week or two, not 3-4 months ago. Please do not say “Can you ping my modem?” because that just grates my nerves. You have no idea what any of that means.

Me: “Okay, go ahead and open Internet explor….”
Customer: “I’ve already done that!!!”

Listen, please, for the love of your life and time, do not fight us if we ask you to do something. The more you fight, the longer the call is going to take. Doing this, we will be less likely to feel empathy for you or help you out, or even offer ways to save you on your $300 cable bill.

If you follow our lead, generally your call will last less than 8 minutes, we will have gone over your services and offered you something new that will lower your bill, and have either gotten you back online or scheduled out a trouble call.

No, nothing you do can will resolve a signal issue outside the home, unless you have cable repair equipment, meters, and amplifiers etc.. Inside the home, yes, anything inside the home is your property. We do not own anything but the equipment you are leasing. 99.9999999999…% of the time, it will not be the modem itself, and most likely it won’t be resolved till we get our people out there.

Yes you will be charged if you do not have wire maintenence and it turns out the $3.00 special splitter you got from Big Lots! is the culprit. We will replace the splitter, charge you for the cost of that splitter, and charge you a minimum of $36 for the service call in addition to hourly charges. Sure, you may get a credit to your account for time down… a whole $3.00 for 3 days down, wow (lacklustered response.)

Stop fighting the tech on the line, do as they say, and we will do everything in our power to help you. FYI, the Tier II tech on the line has the same power in the company as a Tier III tech (Tier III just doesn’t talk to customers unless the customer wants to be escalated to a supervisor. Generally they do as we ask them, because they have maybe .5% more access in the same programs we all use) or as a supervisor. If we say we can’t get anybody out there in a more specific time frame than 4 hours because you work and it’s Sunday which is your only day off and we don’t roll on Sundays, then we just can’t. Don’t you realize I work too? Why else, on a Sunday, would I be sitting here listen to you complain about the 6 trillion dollar deal you just lost out on? Not because I enjoy being bitched out all the time because I am the voice of a company you feel has no concern for your issue. It’s because I’m being paid a minimal amount to listen to you babble on about a bunch of BS I could give a rats ass about. To hear the same things you’re telling me right now, a therapist would charge you $80/hour, so.. How bout you pay my therapists salary now eh? What? No? You don’t want to help support a kid down on his luck, who is blatantly suicidal and will go over the edge and blow his brains out if you decline his simple $2.95 Wire Maintenance upgrade to protect your services? Well fuck you too buddy.

Tsali Wasituna

Comments (1)

Okay, man, seriously, listen.. Mmkay, you listening? What? NO!?? THE NEW BACKSTREET BOYS VIDEO FROM THEIR REUNION TOUR IS ON?!?! WHAAAAAAAAA?

So yeah, totally, check it. When you attempt to tell someone what another department does in certain situations, be sure to know you’re own PNP about the situation first. In addtion, please advise the person you’re chatting with on what you are doing. Do not let it sit for nearly 10 minutes before you send any sort of response.

STATUS: Chat Session Is Closed.

(SYSTEM): Do you have a question for XXXXXXXX? Email him at XXXX@XXX.XXX – we’ll pay $5 in XXXXXXX Chips if we print YOUR question!(unless you are a lead)

(jwashington): [03:59:47 PM] Problem/Issue: CCI, states he did not want a precall, dispatch comments show we attempted precalls to the customer. Customer extremely upset and wants us to get the tech out to them this afternoon/evening. Customer not accepting of any reschedule I can offer him at this time.

XXXXX XXXXXX
XXX XXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXX XXX
Jackson TN 38305

(SYSTEM): [03:59:48 PM] jwashington (172.21.236.129) has joined this chat session…

(jwashington): [03:59:54 PM] Good afternoon.

(SYSTEM): [03:59:59 PM] Lead has joined this chat session…

(XXXXXXX): [04:00:03 PM] hello

(XXXXXXX): [04:00:30 PM] I can help you with this issue, please give me one moment topull up the acct and we can get started

(jwashington): [04:00:39 PM] Okay np, thanks.

(XXXXXXX): [04:01:53 PM] the job does not say nopc#

(jwashington): [04:02:01 PM] it also doesn’t list a PC#

(XXXXXXX): [04:02:37 PM] they use main number when that happens

(XXXXXXX): [04:02:48 PM] I can call

(jwashington): [04:05:03 PM] “What happens if we forget to put the correct number in the job comments? Or the customer says they did not receive a call?” If the offered quota is unacceptable to the customer, then you should open up a dispatch chat. While dispatch may view this as a missed appointment on the customer side, the lead group will attempt to have the quota moved up to a time frame that is more acceptable for the customer. This is a great example of the importance of making sure we have a strong understanding of our Pre-Call policy.

(XXXXXXX): [04:08:34 PM] boy you like typing don’t you

(XXXXXXX): [04:09:00 PM] I have already done that and they will send someone out today

(XXXXXXX): [04:09:41 PM] but if the number is left out they call the main number

(XXXXXXX): [04:09:51 PM] Is there anything else I can do for you?

(jwashington): [04:10:06 PM] No, that was all, thanks for the time and have a pleasent day.

(XXXXXXX): [04:10:11 PM] Have a great day

(SYSTEM): [04:10:19 PM] Lead has left chat session…

Tsali Wasituna

Comments (3)

Are child porn viewers more likely to commit molestation?

Based on this study, that several people are trying to get rushed to publication anywhere they can, 80 somewhat percent of people who view child porn are also molesters at some point as well.

I beg to differ.

I have seen child porn, but only because when I do a search on a P2P network, I put in generalized search terms, then select all results and then download all results. After I’ve downloaded, I remove the items that are in distaste, or did not match what I was looking for.

I’m not saying I put in terms like “MILF” or “ANAL WITH WII CONTROLLER,” I quite literally put in “Soccer,” “Brazil,” or even “Japan.” Many of which will return videos/images of exactly what I typed in, but a few, based on how child pornographers label their images/videos any more, will return child porn.

Since I’ve seen these types of images, (and mind you I have seen more naked people/children at the beach as parents change them in a rather distasteful way in public, and many even let their children run around without clothes on at all) does that mean I am going to go find the nearest child and fondle them? Fuck no. All it means is I need to be more specific about what I search for. Instead of Soccer, I’ll have to search for “That black and white soccer ball with the sexy David Beckam and other players who use their feet and heads to score goals on a large field and that the refs use yellow and red flags on and seem to act kinda faggish when they raise their arms with the flags but are by no means gay.”

But I guess since I have seen some images in the past of children naked, including the pictures many parents take of their children playing with soap suds in the bath or running around the house chasing the dog in a cute way, then according to this study I will molest a child guaranteed. Tell you what, I’ll go do it right now… There, I molested my own testicles, the youngest child possible since they’re still sperms and have yet to enter a fallopian tube to attempt to impregnate an egg from Norma. If this sounded ludicrous to you, then this overall study should be just the same.

Now, by no means am I attempting to protect child molesters or pornographers, I’m merely trying to protect individual rights. This type of study is along the same lines as saying anyone who wears a turban is a terrorist associated with Al-Qeada. Do we not remember that even traditionalist Cherokee’s wear turbans as well? What about Ninjas? They wear cloth wrapped around their heads too! While we’re at it, bikers, pirates, and the cool hipster chicks in Hollywood (Paris Hilton) who wear bandannas! AHH!!! PARIS HILTON IS A CHILD MOLESTER AND A TERRORIST BECAUSE SHE WEARS CLOTH ON HER HEAD!!!

Let’s see here now.. Oh yeah, anyone who owns a guitar must be a rockstar and can play awesomely well. Anyone with a hand masturbates. If you go swimming in the ocean then you will be eaten by a shark. Planes can’t fly because it’s against the law of gravity. And lastly, there is no such thing as AIDS.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled government mind controlling sessions.

Tsali Wasituna

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No, you’re not being funny when you say “You’re making your customers do a chicken dance, I’m not being facetious here” When you say things like that, it’ll immediately regurgitate a reaction of disdain from the person you are speaking with.

If we ask you to do something, a simple reply of “Okay” will work, we don’t need to know you’ve done it a million times already with the automated system, because when we have you do it, we are checking into things on our end with the modem offline completely. If we ask you to bypass your router, please let us know you’re on VOIP so we can tell you to call back when you’ve bypassed it and gotten a real phone line. You know, there is a reason you’re paying only 24.95 for Vonage and have faith in the fact their piggy-backing across other companies and really have no liability in any issues you will have with the quality of your phone service.

Wrestling is not fake, it’s pre-planned.

Detective Goren on Law & Order: CSI is hot.

I’ve applied for CB, I’m scheduled for an interview on Wednesday, I am coming in on my day off to do this. I just hope I can get Tuesday-Thursday off as well, I like working weekends.

Do not, under any circumstance, call the female representative that you are talking to on the phone a “Fucking Cunt.” She knows more about a DNS-A Client table than you know about how to hit the power button and can even rebuild your carburetor on your 69 Camaro. In addition, she now knows the last four of your social, has your credit card information, name and address, phone number and date of birth. So when you start getting those penis pumps and viagra’s in the mail, and an FBI agent knocking at your door for the kiddy porn and unsolicited calls on an unsecured line to terrorist groups, just think about how you could’ve been a nicer person to others.

Windows Live is a hell of a lot better on Windows Mobile phones than Google maps. Better directions, better resources, better listings and contact info, bettter mapping. Many many things are so much more complaint with it. Come on Google, get with the program for mobile pc phones. I need my Google! Praise Google.

“I demand that you put your massive piece of hard wood in my hands right now!!” I love wrestling

Tsali Wasituna

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A very useful and help tidbit of information.

HOW TO OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITH ONLY A PIECE OF PAPER

And more ways to open beer bottles available at this site! Woo! Go Beer!

Tsali Wasituna

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Your newly downloaded program says to contact your network provider for assistance, that doesn’t mean you have the right to call us and complain. If any portion of your internet is working, then do not call us.

Instead, you should contact the software company itself and find out why their program isn’t working, when everything else internet based on the computer is working.

Lastly for now, this is a good article on how to remove ants from your home on WikiHow. Or for those of you who are eco-conscious, try the eco-friendly way.

Tsali Wasituna

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Yes.

Seriously, what kind of moron asks:

“So this means I’ll be offline until a tech checks my lines to fix this -68 downstream and 8.3 upsteram?”

Do you believe I’m sitting here with a knob in front of me and purposely turning your internet with bad levels? All this just so we can sign you up for wire maintenence or charge you a service call charge? Just for sending a tech out when you’re inside wiring has gone bad because you nailed a photo that you took with such great pride that really sucks into the wall?

Yes, that picture you just hung up went right through our cable line behind the wall, and without the wire plan, we are going to charge you $36 (give or take) for the service call. Then we’re going to charge you per hour, then for a wallfish, and then for a new outlet.

Now you’re thinking “What good does this wire maintenence plan do me honestly?” Well, I’ll tell ya, anything we send a tech out to you for, with the exception of installing anything or just to do a new outlet because you don’t like where it’s at, will be free of charge. Even if it’s just to tell you that the monitor saying “Check Signal” means to check the line going from the PC (Brains, Hard Drive, Tower, Motherboard, etc..) to the Monitor (PC, Screen, Flashy Box, TV, Picture Tube, Thing with pretty colours, etc..) and make sure it’s plugged in. No, we won’t do it for you.

Now listen here, just because you ask for a supervisor, it doesn’t mean you’ll get anything taken care of better than what I can. If you’re nice to us, then we will contact dispatch and attempt to see if we can get something pulled sooner if it’s available, and if dispatch says no, then even a manager can’t get them to say yes. We may have only two field techs for a 50 mile radius, and they on average may have 40 jobs a day a piece. If you want more techs and quicker turn around on repairs, then don’t fight the prices going up, we honestly don’t have control over that. Complain to NBC, CBS, ABC, Disney, and especially ESPN if you don’t like cable price hikes. If we refuse to add ESPN College to the sports pak only, then ESPN threatens to pull all ESPN owned programming, and who get the downfall of that? Yes, your cable provider does, because you call to bitch us out.

Remember, you’re paying for a luxury, not a necessity. No, you child doesn’t NEED to watch Dora the Explora or Barney TNG. You do not need to see the odd ending of The Alto’s or the Sex in the Nursing Home reunion in 2010. Cable TV is for entertainment purposes only, and so is the Internet. Again, for the “I run my business from this” responses to this post, please look for all entries I made pertaining to the terms “Business,” “Businesses” and “Idiots.”

There are a lot more useful things you could be doing with your time and money. Go out with your kids, take them to a park, an art festival, a Jazz show, the theatre. No not to the movies see Harry Potter for the sixth time, but to a real theatre to see actors on stage. Go to a museum and learn about this countries past, both the good and the bad. Take a hiking trip or a canoe trip, take some kayak lessons, there is a hell of a lot more to life than sitting on your ass watching who adds and deletes you on MySpace or watching the same stupid videos on Youtube and Pickle.

Did you know that the lions who plagued Africa as seen in the movie “The Ghost and the Darkness” are on display at the Field Museum in Chicago?

No, bet you didn’t, because you haven’t left your house since Val Kilmer was in an AfterSchool Special for anything other than McDonald’s or for Killians Irish Red. You fat slob piece of crap you are. No, not really, I keed keed! I really love you guys :-p You pay me! Of course I lova ya’ll!

Tsali Wasituna

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