Archive for April, 2008

This should cheer you up.

Tsali Wasituna

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When we ask you for your phone number, do not give us a story about “Well it’s funny you should ask that, cause my number is XXX-XXX-XXXX, but I think you guys have it under XXX-XZZ-ZXZZ.” Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell us the phone number that the account is under, then just simply ask “Hey, can you guys change that please?” That’ll garner a much more positive response than a long story that doesn’t push along our resolution for your issue.

When I ask you to read me off everything in your ADD OR REMOVE PROGRAMS list, I really do mean everything. Yes, when you get half way through the A’s, and ask me again, I really do mean everything.

What? You don’t remember last year, when you complained about your bill being so high, that they mentioned this “Homenetworking” charge, and you were all like “I don’t need that, take it off,” and now you’re angry that I won’t support your wireless equipment? I offer you support for $4.99/month, but instead you decide to cancel all services with us, thank you for removing your ignorance from my face.

“I’d like for you to lower my bill”
Excuse me? I’m internet repair, did you have an issue with your internet service?
“Yes, I want you to lower my bill!”
Oh, okay, let me get your account and see what we can do, I see you have expanded basic cable and base internet for 129.97/month now, with phone service through us, I can upgrade you to our biggest package with over 600 channels, keep the same internet speed and activate phone service with us for the exact same price you’re paying now, which would lower your overall monthly bills in total, and this is not a promotional period at all.
“I can get the same bundle from AT&T for 99/month”
Their bundle is 1.5 mbps internet, ours is 5mbps internet, theirs includes The Dish network for video, ours includes all the premium channels that won’t cost you extra, their phone service is a traditional line that will be used by the DSL service, so if you want to still use your phone, you’ll have to get a second phone line, sure you’re paying less but in 6 months time it’ll jump up to more than the 129 with us.
“I want to cancel all services with you and go with them.”
Okay, thank you for calling, let me get you to customer service now so they can further assist you.

Bad Spirits be gone! I banish you from my home and my website and my work place, leave me be and leave me in peace.

Tsali Wasituna

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Re-added my feedburner links to the right, showing how many subscribers I have, and a link o subscribe yourself.

Go Team Rocket!

Tsali Wasituna

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 Tip Number 1: 

You. You have 30 minutes of break time, and an hour of lunchtime.  You should have plenty of time to eat(the rest of us do). So why, oh why, do you torment me, by waiting UNTIL the break is over, to break out the food. And it’s not just a snack like a granola bar or something, oh no. No, it’s a bowl of cereal, and a bag of chips. Now I’m sure that doesn’t sound too bad, but here’s the worst part. The worst part is, you don’t just eat them. You indulge them. You are like the character in those commercials, where they pour in the milk all sensual-like. Mmm….Sexy-O’s.

(update)

Apparently, after our last break ended, you went to Mccallister’s, got an entire meal, and brought it back here, only to eat it soon, I assume. Also, you keep leaving inexplicably. Can I do this?

 

Tip Number 2:

You sir, although you do occasionally ask an extremely important question, and tend to keep our class lively, just need to remember one thing: If you have to preface a question with “I know this is out of our support scope” or “I know we don’t need to know this but….” than you probably shouldn’t be asking it. This leads to long discussions, of pointless topics, and stupid questions arise as a result. Seriously. Think about it.

 

Tip Number 3:

You. Sitting next to me. Please don’t talk. Again. Ever. Thanks.

 

Tip Number 4:

Really. Don’t talk. I was serious. Sticking my head in a maggot infested toilet, filled with old livers and poisonous snakes, while simultaneously tearing off my finger nails one by one and shoving them into an open wound that I have scraped into forehead, and than tearing out my eyeballs and replacing them with moldy cumquats is preferable to hearing your voice. Poor children are starving because you speak.

 

Tip Number 5:

I know that you know people in the department we are headed into. That’s just great. In fact, it’s more than great, but see, nobody cares. Nobody is excited about the fact that somehow, we were blessed with the presence of someone who’s communicated with those untouchable beings, that are in the other department. Oh wait no…we are IN that department now. We don’t look up to you as a result, nor does that impart to you any extra bonuses or powerups. Not even a single green shell. So please stop mentioning it, every other sentence. This also applies to you, the guy who thinks that we’re somehow ascending into godhood because of this new position. It’s a promotion….not a friggin knighting. You’re still a peon buddy, wake up.

 

Tip Number 6:

You and you, and you. All of you. You do not know more about this job than the trainer. Period.

 

Tip Number 7:

YOU! How many times do I have to tell you to stop talking?

 

Tip Number 8:

Sir, nobody understands what you’re saying. Words come out of your mouth, but they are indecipherable. When we somehow translate your Mumblish into  English, we realize we still don’t understand what you’re trying to tell us. Perhaps you should get into a different profession. Like maybe being a deaf-mute or something.

 

 Tip Number 9:

We are in a small room. Let’s use our inside voices.

 

Tip Number 10:

Can you at least pretend to be professional? Please? I mean, I know we’re just sitting here all day, but I would think you would have realized that there is a line between what is appropriate at home, and what is appropriate at work. Some things are just inappopriate to discuss, during class.

 

Tip Number 11:

Kill me. Please.

 

Tip Number 12:

When we make a mistake, and after I explain to the confused party why we were mistaken, do not continue trying to explain our point. We were wrong, and you aren’t paying attention.

 

Tip Number 13:

Dude. You should really stop making such creepy statements. Man. I mean seriously. Today alone,  you’ve talked about cutting people’s brake lines multiple times. You’ve said other things that are just plain frightening. There are children present! Well…just me mostly. But man you’re creepy.

 

Tip Number 14:

You…in the corner. I have no tips for you. You’re cool. You look kind of worried all the time, and maybe nervous too. But that’s ok. You don’t really talk. You don’t say anything stupid. I pretend like you are a cool guy, and I hope that image doesn’t get shattered by you beginning to speak. So I guess I have one tip. Just keep on doing what you’re doing.

 

Tip Number 15:

Learn to raise your children — http://www.tsali.net/?p=188

 

 

grayjaket

Comments (2)

So the democrats are getting all pissy pants about voters who don’t have any sort of state or federally issued photo ID, and the republicans denying them the right to vote. I agree with the republicans in this case. If you don’t have a photo ID, how do I know you are in fact Mr. Richard Branson, multi-billionaire who is now 5’2 and weighs 387 lbs? Extreme I know, but that’s how I feel about it.

To be able to vote, you should have to be able to prove you are who you say you are. I could send in voter registration cards left and right, register everyone from my pet rock to my pet ferret, but if I don’t have a photo ID showing me as “Sir Lapin, los Knight de Bun Bun,” then I shouldn’t be able to vote as Mr. Rabbit, Knight of Rabbit.

Tsali Wasituna

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Revolution starts from within, so use your time in the bathroom wisely. – Teh James

Tsali Wasituna

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do I have to say “Your PC recognizes the wireless signal and equipment, but doesn’t appear as if it knows how to utilize it’s wireless capability, you might want to contact your manufacturer on that” before you understand I’m telling you that your computer is messed up and you can’t get online until you contact your manufacturer for further support.

Also, if I tell you to exit a program, do not ask me what to do when it asks you if you want to exit.

Tsali Wasituna

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The Japanese girl here is only 14. This is disturbing to me.

Tsali Wasituna

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I was privy to some information about a person who is in a higher up position who has a keen interest in one of the nestorz, in a highly work inappropriate, and position inappropriate kind of way. Before anyone who normally reads this thinks it might be them, you’re wrong, it’s no one I’ve been in direct contact with for some time now

All I can say is man, it’s totally not worth your job to try to enjoy a frolicking in the woods behind Charter. As a married man myself, I’ll admit some of the newbs are pretty hot, but as the wife and I agreed upon for both of us, you can look but you can’t touch, unless it’s a tag-team effort like in wrestling TOMBSTONE PILE DRIVER FTW!

Tsali Wasituna

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I was helping a customer access their charter.net email address today, and I noticed THIS….an actual news story. That people read. With their eyes. In real life.

April 24 – Lindsay Lohan flashes a peace sign after leaving a Beverly Hills Restaurant.

It gets better.

It has a video.

http://www.charter.net/video/?vid=143442&sc_cid=wccel2

 

I mean….seriously? Is this what our country has come to? We have wars and global warming and human rights being violated and one of our biggest news stories is Linsday Lohan flashing a peace sign at some paparazzi?

Jake….is very disappointed….

grayjaket

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