Tsali Wasituna

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So… Guy calls in, has an upstream signal of 64, highest it should ever go to is 55. Since this guy refused to be home, and refused to supply me with a best contact number, I left his w/o with a precall to the number listed on the account. Customer then stated if I don’t get him someone out there to just check his outside lines, then he’ll cancel all services and look for another provider. Well, retention will like to hear your voice now, goodbye, because I can’t guarantee that. In addition, any other provider will tell you the same thing:

“Yes, you need to be home for us to check out the issue, and yes, we do have weekend appointments. If you call in on a Sunday wanting it fixed tonight, tough luck and wait till next weekend. You’re not the only person who works you know? What do you think I’m doing here on a Sunday listening to you complain about ‘People Work You know!!!?!!?!?’ you turd.”

I’ve been doing this job for two and a half years, and trust me, the appointment availability is vastly improved from what it was when I started buddy. If you had called in two years ago for the same RF issue, it would’ve taken a minimum of two and a half to three weeks to get someone out. Yes you can live without internet at your home, you know you could actually go into work for a change instead of VPN-ing from home where you can masturbate to kiddy porn while doing your churches banking and books. You can go to a real store to buy things keeping those in your community in business. You can use a regular phone to call your dad, or even use the regular old fashioned postal mail to send something from the heart on this Fathers day. There is life outside of the internet, teach your children this and take them out to the park. To a national park especially to learn that all this energy they waste on the intargnat is destroying that which supplies us life.

Tsali Wasituna

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If you’re NIC card pings itself at 10ms, there IS something WRONG with YOUR computer. Do not ask me “If my computer can’t talk to itself, is that on my end or your guys?” The answer is obvious, and you don’t even deserve an answer from me.

You purchased the 10 Meg package from us, and you’re getting an average of 9.2 mbps download speeds from 4 different sites, but your favorite website doesn’t pull through too fast, who should you take this issue up with? The site’s content provider, or your pc, a speedtest is giving you the results of what your pc is actually handling, but not how fast you will get the information.

Five things:

1. Your site you’re trying to access may not be able to send the data out at your download speeds.
2. Your computer can, and very much will, slow everything down when you have messengers, P2P networks, websites open, older OS’s, ftp programs, email open, routers, underrated processors, motherboards, nic cards, cat5 cables.
3. Just plain user end stupidity.
4. Yes, it is possible we really are having an issue, and if you don’t work with us, we’ll never get it resolved. Don’t get pissy and irate with us when we tell you what to do so we can find a resolution if it’s on our end, and if not, accept it if we tell you, Four different times by Four different techs, that it’s your issue on your pc. When we find the issue, don’t get upset and hang up if we need to send someone out and it may be a couple days.
5. Remember.. Internet and Cable TV are luxuries, not utilities, we’re not rated the same and do not follow the same government regulations, so complaining to your state rep about having a trouble call more than 2 days out is a mute point.

There, now that that is taken care of, who want’s to play some bball?

Tsali Wasituna

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If you purchase a router, please learn how to use it and read it’s instruction manual before calling your ISP. If it takes you 10 minutes to understand the need to bypass it to see if the issue is router related (Yes, I know you’ve had it for 3 months and that it’s brand new and never had a problem before in the entire life of the known universe,) or modem and possibly server related, then you shouldn’t be owning a router.

If we bypass your router, and suddenly your pc is working great, BAM! You know the issue, don’t ask me “How can this happen?” You know what you did to make it happen, and if you didn’t then don’t purchase a router or PC ever again.

If we’re still getting slow speeds on this with a direct connection to the modem, then stop surfing those pr0n sites and downloading every video you can find, those did in fact add spyware and viruses to your PC, causing your speed to no longer be 5MB, but instead 2MB (wow! 2MB, how the hell did we ever survive before broadband with a 1200 baud and 9600 baud modem?!? Blasphemy!)

If all this fails, please do not berate me cause you waited 10 days to call in, only to find out we’ll investigate it now that we finally know you’re having an issue. We’re not psychics, cause if we where, we would so just hit the lottery and not have to take calls from angry people ever again.

Am I an asshole? Yes

Tsali Wasituna

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